If you have a teen who's keeping a tidy room, you have a rare find. Yes, there are some born with the clean gene, but even my neatnik son had a messy room in high school. Kids have a lot on their plates these days, and making time to find their bedroom floor isn't high on the list.
A messy room can contribute to a teen's anxiety and a feeling of not being in control of her environment. It can cause an inability to concentrate on homework or even find it. It's important to provide teens the freedom of expression in their own space while equipping them with the tools they need to maintain a peaceful and productive environment.
So, if you're tempted to close the door and post skull and crossbones, consider these Timely Tips and the benefits for you, your teen, and his or her future spouse.
TIMELY TIPS for a teen's clean-er room
DECIDE WHAT'S NECESSARY
Before approaching your teen, consider realistic expectations. Model home status isn't the goal, but as one expert put it, the "degree of gross-ness" is a line you can draw.
Picking up laundry and dirty dishes weekly might be your line. You can add some incentive--if the dirty clothes are in the laundry room by Saturday morning, you'll wash them. If not, she's on her own. Or add a negative consequence--if dirty dishes are still in the bedroom on Saturday, no leaving for social events until the task is done.
The standard you expect should not be higher than what you're modeling in your own space, or more than what you're willing to regulate.
Write out your expectations, rewards, and/or consequences. Sit down and talk it over with your teen. Ask and share about the benefits. Explain that it's part of your responsibility to equip him with these life skills. Be open to discussion and make sure there's understanding and agreement on what his responsibilities are going forward.
PROVIDE A STRATEGY AND SUPPORT
If the room is a disaster, the initial clean-up is probably overwhelming you both. Don't say, "get it done" and walk away.
Set a date when you and your teen have several hours to devote to the project. Ask if she would like your help, the help of a friend (who has an affinity toward tidiness), or a Professional Organizer. Even if you're not the one helping, be sure to check in on the progress and provide break times.
SUPPLIES
labeled trash and recycle bags
laundry basket for dirty laundry
hangers for clean laundry
labeled box or bag for items to donate
container for dirty dishes and other items to be relocated
vacuum and cleaning supplies
STEPS
Turn on the lights, open the blinds (and window if needed)
Make the bed
Bag all the trash/recycle
Hang/fold clean clothes
Put dirty clothes in laundry basket
Sort contents from floor and other flat surfaces into categories such as electronics, school supplies, accessories, keepsakes, sports, donations, relocate, etc.
Put categories of items where they belong, or create a home if homeless (see below)
Vacuum, dust, and clean
CREATE HOMES
In order to have a successful maintenance program, everything needs a home. If needed, add a dresser or wire drawers to the closet. Attach hooks to the closet or bedroom wall for backpacks, purses, hats, jackets, etc. Use under-the-bed containers for keepsakes and rarely used items. Put up shelving for trophies and decorative items. Use over-the-door shoe hangers for sandals, accessories, leggings, etc. Label and use cube storage organizers for electronics, books, and school supplies. Ensure there are adequate sized waste and laundry baskets. Provide a tray or basket for dishes and food items.
MAINTAIN
Remember, we're not talking "white glove" checks, but it's your responsibility to follow through and support your teen in the maintenance agreement. Your future son or daughter-in-law will thank you!
Wise words
You never know what you have... until you clean your room. --Unkown